Unprecedented
by lyns
Summary: NEXT CHAPTER ADDED AT LAST - SORRY FOR THE WAIT! Things are changing, how will the Scoobies deal and what exactly is it that they will have to deal with anyway? please r&r. thanks :)
1. ChangesAComing prologue

Title: Unprecedented  
  
Author: Lyns  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my storyline.  
  
A/N: picks up after Seeing Red.kinda.its hard to explain.Basically everything up to Seeing Red is as it was on the show but then my imagination takes over. just read and you'll see what I mean. I suck at explaining.  
  
Distribution: Just ask first. Thanks.  
  
Feedback: go for it. Nothing makes me feel more complete (  
  
Summary: Things are changing, how will everyone deal?  
  
*#*#*#*#*#*#*  
  
It has been three months, six days and 4 hours since my world began to crumble around me and form a small pile of disaster around my feet.  
  
Three months, six days and four hours since he tried to force me to 'feel', since I kicked him across my bathroom and watched him walk out of my life.  
  
Two months to the day from when things got that bit worse, something I didn't think possible until recently.  
  
Twenty three days since it all came to a halt as my fears were confirmed, since I sat down in a heap and cried myself numb till I thought there was nothing left, while my friends helped cook lunch and my sister watched cartoons, not one of them knowing the pain and confusion swimming through my veins like poison up above them.  
  
I don't know when it happened. Or how exactly, and I'm not sure I ever will. All I know is it did happen.  
  
I think I knew all along. From that very first second when that unspeakable thought floated through my mind as I watched mind-numbing TV one night, I think I knew. Even as I pushed it away and berated myself for considering a situation as ludicrous as the one I now find myself in, I was changing things. Making little adjustments to the way I acted, the way I live, in order to protect myself.  
  
And now it's all happening too fast, there's no time to think as the days fly by unnoticed, allowing precious few moments in which to consider my current standing.  
  
I can't tell my friends, they would never understand.  
  
I could tell my sister but I know she'd be ecstatic and until I know how I feel I can't run the risk of having her opinion rub off on me, something which I know would be so easy to allow to happen sometimes.  
  
And as for him? Who knows? He left, no sign for three months six days and four hours, no way of contacting him, no attempt by him to contact me, no way of letting him know.. although I still don't know if I would tell him even if I did find him.  
  
That would mean admitting it to myself, something I am yet to really do. Perhaps it is time I did. It is real. It is my life now. And there's nothing I can do now to change it.  
  
Maybe I just need to speak the words, say it aloud, shock myself back to the confusing reality I've been thrust into.  
  
I slowly stand and look at myself in the mirror, silently telling my reflection to prepare itself for what it I am about to say.  
  
I take a deep breath and speak.  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*  
  
A/N: this isn't my usual style of writing so please, if I suck at it - tell me and I'll refrain from using it again, if however it's tolerable please do let me know. Thanks.  
  
More to come soon. 


	2. The Return

Title: Unprecedented (chapter 1)  
  
Author: Lyns  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my storyline.  
  
A/N: picks up after Seeing Red.kinda.its hard to explain.Basically everything up to Seeing Red is as it was on the show but then my imagination takes over. just read and you'll see what I mean. I suck at explaining.  
  
Distribution: Just ask first. Thanks.  
  
Feedback: go for it. Nothing makes me feel more complete (  
  
Summary: Things are changing, how will everyone deal?  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
'Ugh' Buffy thought as she stood up slowly and wiped her face on a cool cloth. Damn morning sickness. 'If this keeps up people are going to guess what's going on in no time. Not that I really have all that much time left before I'll start to show anyway. And its not like I can hide it forever, they're going to have to know eventually.'  
  
Just the thought of it made Buffy think she might be sick again. At around four months along she was lucky not to be showing already, although if a particularly observant person actually looked close enough they would probably notice a very slight bump beginning to grow where a month ago there had been nothing but flat muscle.  
  
She wasn't even sure why she was trying to hide it anymore. It would be different if she was still considering her options but she had been there done that and seen the inside of the sterilized treatment room. It was not something she wanted to think about again any time soon.  
  
Upon first discovering her pregnancy she had, without thinking, and in a state of numb detachment, booked an appointment to have it aborted as soon as possible. Upon arriving at the clinic however she suddenly realised what she was doing. Killing a life, killing something real, killing a part of her. Killing a part of him. The only part of Spike that was truly alive and she was going to get rid of it. She upped and ran and hadn't looked back since. Hadn't considered why the thought of ridding herself of Spike's child had filled her with a kind of dread and fear akin to knowing that she was going to die. Worse than that even. At least then she knew she had reasons for doing what she did, not like now.  
  
So really all this avoiding wasn't doing anyone any good. It was just putting off the inevitable. Putting off that moment when Xander would undoubtedly storm out and not speak to her for a week, the moment when Willow would just sit in silence until Buffy thought her head might implode, the moment when Dawn would try desperately to hide her excitement upon seeing the torture and agony etched onto her sisters face. And avoiding the moment when it all becomes real and there's no going back.  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
Sunnydale. Land of sun. Why the hell he kept returning was beyond him, the Hellmouth wasn't enough to hold his interest anymore and there was no other reason for him to seek out this place time and again.  
  
Actually, that wasn't strictly true. There was a reason; he just didn't like to think about it. Didn't like to think about her, because thinking about the girl he so desperately loved meant thinking about what he had done to her and that just led to considering how fate had royally screwed him when he had tried to find a way to make the constant dull ache in his chest go away.  
  
All he wanted was to be back to his good old self. Be the person he was when he got the name Spike, be the big bad again, make her see that he wasn't just some dumb ass lap dog, that he could kill and maim and torture people with railroad spikes again if he really wanted to.  
  
Well, now that's out the window.  
  
'Stupid sodding soul' Spike thought to himself as he wandered through the cemetery to see what state his crypt had fallen into during his time away. Seemed like just yesterday he had ridden out of this hellhole with a promise to himself to give the slayer what she deserved.  
  
Now here he was, with a soul he never really wanted, a hole in his chest so big he thought it might go on forever and the memory of the thousands of people he'd killed throughout the years burning on his brain.  
  
He walked up to the place he had been calling home for the past few years and paused outside the heavy door.  
  
"Here goes nothing," he said to himself and slowly pushed it open.  
  
At the site of numerous half burnt candles, the dust covered old television and a sweater Buffy had left here many months ago, a sudden wave of memories hit him.  
  
Himself and Buffy that last time on top of the sarcophagus.  
  
Their first real kiss, no smoke or magic, just Buffy, pretending to be the Buffy-bot of course, but still Buffy and himself and a slow delicate kiss that meant the world to him.  
  
The time she'd trusted him enough to let him handcuff her and have his way with her until she finally dragged herself off to work.  
  
Then the moment that changed it all.  
  
'Goodbye William'  
  
The words shook him even now. He'd heard her little 'it's over' speech a thousand times, thought he knew her well enough to be sure that she'd never really put a n end to it, but she did. She turned and left and refused to admit any shred of real feelings for him.  
  
And here he was again, the scene of so many passion filled nights and angry brawls and all he wanted was for it all to be like it was. Before soldier boy came back and waved his perfect little life right under his slayer's nose and made her realise what she was missing, what she could never have with Spike.  
  
He had to see her.  
  
Had to talk to her, touch her.but he couldn't. He wouldn't. Not now. Not after.what he did.  
  
Instead he'd just have to sit and wallow in his own misery and self- loathing with his good old buddy Jack D. 


	3. Confessions

Unprecedented - Chapter 2 By Lyns  
  
After another few days of putting off the inevitable, Buffy finally resolved to tell her friends about her pregnancy. It was a Sunday morning and the California sun was streaming through the windows of the sitting room when she walked slowly in and sat down on the coffee table.  
  
"Buffy! You're blocking the TV!"  
  
She looked over her shoulder to find out what was Dawn was so worried about missing. Saved By The Bell - The New Class. Nowhere near as good as the original, and it could certainly wait until after her news.  
  
Buffy reached for the remote and turned off the TV, eliciting more huffing and puffing from her sister.  
  
She could see a look of confusion etched onto Willow's face. She should have known. Willow could always sense when something big was about to be said. 'No way she'll be expecting this, though,' Buffy thought quietly to herself as she took a deep breath in a vain attempt to settle her nerves. It didn't work.  
  
'Here goes nothing.'  
  
"I have some news."  
  
Dawn perked up and paid a bit more attention.  
  
"Is there another apocalypse? You have apocalypse face," she said anxiously.  
  
"No, Dawn, there isn't another apocalypse. At least not one that I'm aware of, anyway. It's nothing like that. It's about me." Buffy paused; trying to figure out the best way to phrase the enormous bombshell she was about to break. She figured the best thing was to simply tell them in a calm, relaxed manner that she was pregnant and then take it step by step from there.  
  
"I'm having Spike's baby," she blurted out suddenly.  
  
Or at least that was the plan  
  
"Crap," Buffy whispered under her breath - how'd that happen?  
  
And why was there laughter coming from the two people in front of her?  
  
"What? What are you laughing at?" she asked them, rather bewildered by their reactions.  
  
Willow was the first to speak.  
  
"You seriously expect us to believe that? Buffy - vampires can't get you pregnant - it's not physically possible. And even if it was, it's been months since Spike left, surely you would have known by now!" she said, as if stating the obvious.  
  
The look on Buffy's face said it all.  
  
Dawn stared at her, open-mouthed, for what seemed like forever, before saying, "You did know, didn't you? You've known for months and not told me."  
  
"Well.... uh.... technically.... yeah. But ya' know, big wiggins going on in my head Dawnie - I couldn't deal with having other people's stuff floating around up here, too," she pointed at her head as if to illustrate her point, then added, "I'm not even sure I can deal with it now, but I couldn't really put it off much longer."  
  
It was at this point when Dawn and Willow glanced down at Buffy's stomach and noticed for the first time why Buffy wasn't trying to hide it anymore. She was showing. And not just a little, now that she was wearing more revealing clothes than she had been of late, it suddenly seemed so much more obvious. Whether it was just because they now knew and were actively looking for something or whether it was because Buffy really did look like a pregnant woman (pregnant lady glow and all the trimmings) could not be established, all that was for certain was that it was true. Not some crazy joke thought up by Buffy to try and bring some entertainment to their Sunday morning routine and not a strange nightmare world where clowns are murderous and school involves nude public speaking. Just Sunnydale, California, Hellmouth, where Slayers fall for vampires and end up bearing their illegitimate children. It may sound like some far-fetched fantasy, but for them it was the real world. A real world that just got that little bit more interesting than they had ever thought possible.  
  
#*#*#*#*  
  
"OK, so let me get this straight," Willow started after an hour of discussion, "You're pregnant. Courtesy of Spike. A vampire. We don't know how it happened or even if this...baby...will be normal, and you're saying you plan on keeping it. And you're actually happy about this situation?"  
  
"Well, sort of. It's growing on me, you know? Like, at first, I wanted to curl up in a heap and pretend that everything was normal. And then I decided to.... get rid of it.... but I just couldn't. It's a part of me and I just couldn't do it. And now, well...I guess I'm getting used to the whole idea. And it's normal, I can promise you. My baby is not some evil vampire hybrid. It's human. I can feel it, I can sense its life force and all I sense is good."  
  
She hadn't realized that as she'd been talking she'd started to cry, but now found that salty wetness was dripping onto her lips and mingling with her smile. They weren't tears of sadness, Buffy wasn't even sure what they were for, all she knew was that the emotions were getting to be too much of as jumble and had begun to overflow without her consent.  
  
Dawn got up for her position on the sofa, sat next to her sister, and hugged her so hard even Buffy was having trouble freeing herself.  
  
"Uh ... Dawn, sweetie...might have Slayer strength here, but you seem to have developed over protective aunt muscles right now," Buffy said.  
  
Suddenly Dawn let go and leapt up - finally giving more than an indication of how she felt about this matter.  
  
"Ohmigod!! Aunt! I'm gonna be an Auntie!!! Aunt Dawn, Auntie Dawnie!! This is so cool, Buffy! Are you going to name the baby after me?! Please, please, please?"  
  
"So I take it you approve, then?" Buffy answered with a smile, glad that Dawn was being so understanding. Not that there had ever been any doubt that she would be, she loved Spike after all.  
  
Dawn just smiled and hugged Buffy's stomach briefly as means of an affirmation.  
  
Buffy turned her attention to her best friend, who had a permanently unreadable expression on her face since she first realized that Buffy really was pregnant.  
  
"Willow? How bout you? You've not said anything in a while..." Buffy asked uncertainly.  
  
She finally let some emotion show on her face as she smiled gently at her best friend.  
  
"Of course I'm happy for you, as long as this is definitely what you want. I'll be there for you, whatever you need." She stood up, as did Buffy, and they hugged for what seemed like forever. Buffy had been closed off, unreachable, for months and now that she was able to finally share her secret she felt like there was so much missed time with her friends and sister that had to be made up. 'And there's no time like the present' she thought to herself with a smile, relishing in the feel of her first real Willow-hug in far too long. 


	4. Time To Move

Unprecedented - Chapter 3  
  
By Lyns  
  
DISCLAIMER - I DON'T OWN THEM, MORE'S THE PITY.  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
It was noon on Sunday before Spike awoke from his drink induced stupor, having spent all of the previous night trying in vain to make the empty feeling inside of him disappear through the use of copious amounts of alcohol and loud 70's punk music.  
  
It didn't work. Not even a little bit.  
  
And now he knew there was no point putting it off - he had to go see Buffy, apologize for what he did. Even if he already knew she would never forgive him, he still felt he had to do it.  
  
Only problem being that the tunnels in his crypt didn't quite make it all the way to her house on Revello drive, so his only option that didn't involve risking turning into a big pile of bleach blond ash was to wait the 6 hours until nightfall, hoping he wouldn't go insane in that time.  
  
Being without Buffy was too much; he couldn't cope. It was different in Africa; there the vast desert before you could make a man momentarily forget that there was any other world beyond the horizon line. It made you feel a part of something bigger, something so awe inspiring that thoughts of those far away from you couldn't quite pass through the still hot air and into a persons mind easily enough to be registered.  
  
But back here in Sunnydale, where the air smelled of lemons, like those growing in Buffy's garden, and even for a vampire looking out from the shadows, the sunlight was the same luminescent gold of her hair, not thinking about her became near impossible. Not even with the aid of good quality whisky.  
  
The only way to appease the harrowing, endless desire he felt toward Buffy was, he felt sure, to see her. Speak to her. Anything that would satisfy this primal need for her. For her scent, her touch, the sight of those eyes he felt he could drown in. All of those things he had spent so long without and which Spike needed so badly it sometimes hurt to move without.  
  
And so he sat in his armchair and listened to the agonizingly slow ticking of the clock in front of him until the hour finally came when he knew he could finally see her.  
  
The sun was down and his long dead heart was almost beating at the very thought of making contact with her again.  
  
He got up slowly, stubbed out his cigarette and moved to the door. And that was fit, he was out, free, on his way and getting closer every second, never allowing himself to imagine what he might find when he reached his destination, never pausing to consider what he might say, just following his well worn instincts as he waltzed up to her front door and knocked three times in quick succession and awaited a response. 


	5. We Meet Again

Unprecedented 4.  
  
By Lyns.  
  
A/N: A/U. Picks up after Seeing Red.kinda.its hard to explain.Basically everything up to Seeing Red is as it was on the show but then my imagination takes over.Spike's got his soul (all will be revealed eventually) but it didn't make him all loony toons and stuff in my universe.he's just.Spike.with a soul. Ya know what? Just read and you'll see what I mean. I suck at explaining.  
  
Distribution: Just ask first. Thanks.  
  
Feedback: go for it. Nothing makes me feel more complete (  
  
Summary: Things are changing, how will everyone deal?  
  
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*  
  
"Dawn, can you pass the..."  
  
A sharp knock on the front door interrupted Buffy's request for the peas. Well, not like they were really looking all that appealing in the first place.  
  
After a rather emotional and revelation-filled day, Buffy, Willow, and Dawn had decided that a traditional family meal was called for. Except that no one could be bothered to cook. Ergo, the calling of a local restaurant and ordering out instead.  
  
"I'll get it," Buffy said as she rose from her seat at the table and made her way to the hall, wondering who it was at the door.  
  
Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when she opened it.  
  
"Can I hel -SPIKE?!" she gasped and quickly shot a glance at a rather shocked looking Willow and Dawn, silently praying for one of them to help her out in the undoubtedly awkward situation soon to arise.  
  
Spike cleared his throat, looking to Buffy, uncharacteristically nervous. Not very Spike like at all.  
  
"Uh...I...what are you doing here?"  
  
"Can I come in? Or are you gonna make me stand out here all night, pet?" he said, attempting to smirk, but not quite managing..  
  
"Oh, right, yeah, uh...come on in, we were just eating." Buffy gestured to the dining room, indicating he take a seat and silently hoping he didn't notice her slightly protruding stomach.  
  
"So. Where've you been the past few months?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound too eager, but also not aiming for so aloof it looked as if she didn't care. Not that she did care. Well...ok, so maybe a little...but she didn't need him thinking she spent all of the time he was gone rehashing their relationship and suddenly realizing that she did actually enjoy their time together. Even if that was what she did. He didn't need to know that, did he?  
  
"Oh, you know me, love. Been around, here and there. I, uh, I'll tell you all about it some other time, eh?" he answered, clearly hinting at a need to speak with her alone, while outwardly smiling politely at the other two girls in the room, wondering why they were both staring at him open- mouthed. Had they not seen any other vampires since he'd been away?  
  
Obviously getting the hint, and knowing that they really needed to talk and get it over with, Buffy excused herself from the room, knowing Spike would follow her into the kitchen.  
  
He stood in the doorway of the kitchen; an uncomfortable silence settling upon them as Buffy leaned against a unit on the other side of the kitchen and wondered how to begin.  
  
"So, Slayer, how you been since I've been gone?" he asked, clearly wanting to get something said, but not quite sure how to. Evidently he'd decided to stick to a good old avoidance tactic. This was something Buffy was pretty familiar with after her past few months of denial and delusion.  
  
Buffy simply looked at him, wondering to herself how best to word the bombshell she was about to drop, or if she should even tell him at all. She hadn't even told Giles or Xander and Anya yet.  
  
'I guess it can wait another day or two, give me some time to plan how I'll tell him,' she decided after a few more moments of silence.  
  
"Fine. Well. OK. I mean there was the usual almost apocalypse soon after you left, fighting, dying.could've used you." She paused, not wanting to dive into how much she'd missed him and needed him while he'd been away. "You missed quite a bit actually.Dawn's suddenly a mini - woman and not some little kid I can protect from the big, bad world anymore, Willow and Tara are together again but they're still having a few problems, the magic box got kind of trashed and Giles had to get it all rebuilt again, and then there was this whole thing a few months back where some random demon gang decided to descend upon us. The usual blood guts and gore resulted, you know. Blah blah, yada yada. Same old, same old. Oh yeah, and I'm going to have a baby."  
  
'For crying out loud! What's wrong with me today?!?! OK, damage control...uh...oh!'  
  
"UH, rabies! I'm going to have a.a rabies shot.you know, all these demons taking chunks out of me, gotta get some kind of protection from whatever nasties they might be harboring." She paused, internally kicking herself and grimacing at her pathetic attempt at a cover-up. The look on Spikes face told her he wasn't buying it anyway.  
  
Just move on Buffy, change the subject.  
  
"So anyway, what's new with you?" she asked, inwardly grimacing at her pathetic attempt at a cover-up.  
  
"You're...a...say what now? And don't gimme none of that rabies bollocks, I can read you like a book pet so if you think I can't tell when you're lying then you're sorely mistaken. Out with it." he said, seeming far too calm about all of this for Buffy's liking.  
  
"I'm pregnant," she said in a small, but confident tone, quietly happy that she'd got it done and could move on to the real traumas.  
  
Spike looked at her, expressionless, for a few moments before commenting.  
  
"Well..." He paused; seeming to need time to search for the words he was looking for, "Congrats. Who's the lucky fella? Someone new on the scene since I've been gone?"  
  
"Spike..." Buffy started uneasily, thinking for the first time how her body so easily betrayed quite how far gone she was. Now that she thought about it, she didn't really look like she was near 4 months along.  
  
Obviously sensing her awkwardness and mistaking it as an attempt to avoid hurting his feelings, Spike continued with his earlier congratulations.  
  
"No. It's ok, pet. I'm happy for you. Really. I am."  
  
He was lying. He knew it and Buffy new it - the way he was running his hand through his hair, the slight nod of his head, his eyes. It all told Buffy everything she needed to know.  
  
It was a pity for him that she knew him as well as he knew her. His eyes would always betray him, showing his heart in those deep pools of blue whether he wanted them to or not.  
  
"No, Spike. There isn't someone new," she said, slowly but surely coming to grips with the situation now that he had returned, now that he was standing in front of her. Him leaning casually against her kitchen doorframe like he had so many times in the past, it made the whole thing seem so much more real. And at the same time, somehow it suddenly seemed like a much more manageable reality than the one she had been imaging in her mind.  
  
"Oh. Soldier boy back then, is he? Hope you two are real happy," he said unconvincingly, eyes and false smile betraying him again  
  
"It's not Riley's baby, Spike. It's...it's yours."  
  
There seemed to be no other way to put it. No way of easing it in gently, so now there it was.  
  
Floating between them, lingering in the air above the empty fruit bowl sitting on the kitchen island, and making the air seem so thick that Buffy thought she might suffocate if someone didn't disperse the tension with words soon.  
  
A look of exquisite happiness had flashed across Spike's face for an instant before something else took over.  
  
"Funny. Not possible, though. Vampire, remember? Nice of you trying to make me feel better, though. Appreciate it," he said with a sad smile.  
  
Buffy just stared at him with a look telling him to shut up and accept it. She was pregnant with his baby and he was going to have to believe her or get out of her kitchen before she beat the truth into him.  
  
Hormones and Slayer strength, not a good mix at the best of times and it seemed that Spike got the message.  
  
He moved from his position in the doorway and leaned on the island in front of where Buffy stood, catlike as always, with minimum effort.  
  
Neither seemed to know what to do, what to say. It was a new situation for them both, uncharted territory with no forewarning of the possible outcome.  
  
Buffy reached forward and took Spike's hand in hers, moving them both to rest on her stomach.  
  
She looked up at Spike and had the pleasure and privilege of seeing the lost and bewildered expression on his face turn into a look of shock, awe, and pure contentment as he felt from the outside what Buffy was feeling from within - the gentle stir of their child, recognizing its parents already, even at such a premature age.  
  
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
So there ya have it, chapter 4 done and done.  
  
5 might not be here till next week I'm afraid, my beta's off and away till next Wednesday. Sorry!  
  
I promise when I do update though there'll be plenty for you to read.  
  
Alternatively, if you don't want to wait and could recommend a good beta or are interested in doing it yourself then let me know. 


	6. Kashlar

Unprecedented: Chapter 5  
  
A/N: Big thanks to my beta Kimberly for spotting my many, many run ons and spelling/grammatical mistakes.  
  
SUMMERY: Spike knows about the baby, now he's all awe struck and recalling the occurrences which led him to go and visit Buffy in the first place. Should fill in a few blanks about his soul and how he got it (remember this whole thing kicks off post Seeing Red so nothing that happened on the show after that, has happened in my universe.)  
  
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
Spike thought about how he had planned to come to the Buffy's home and apologize for what he had done to her, for those horrible moments up in her bathroom. How he had wanted to share with her the story of how he got a soul. How he had stormed out of Sunnydale on his stolen motorcycle in search of a way to remove the chip and be returned to his former big-bad self. Only it hadn't quite turned out the way he thought he wanted it to.  
  
He rode off into the night in search of a higher power. Some being with the capabilities to restore him, bring his inner demon very much back to the surface, and with it the ability to show Buffy that he was strong, powerful, and very much ready to maim and maul anyone who crossed him.  
  
After sounding out various different connections, both human and not so human, he wound up at the wooden shack of a home belonging to Kashlar. A being that, Spike was told, held the power to modify a person's make up, change their habits, personality, race, or even species if that was what was desired by her client.  
  
Unfortunately the service came at a cost.  
  
Two long months in the desert of New Mexico, the first spent transferring power to Kashlar, ensued.  
  
She claimed that in order to perform the rituals required of her, she needed a store of power, and that the best power for this case would be that of her client.  
  
Meditations and sacred rites involving ingesting various unearthly fluids and concoctions followed, along with many hours of rest on Kashlar's part to allow her time to generate the strength, both of muscle and spirit, which she professed to need to comply with Spike's request followed.  
  
After Kashlar felt she had the power to carry out Spike's reformation, she said she must see Spike's being. She needed to feel his spirit, who this man was, what he was and where he was headed. Kashlar spent a month prying into the mind of William The Bloody, both supernaturally and through good old alcohol-aided chat, all under the premise that this was required for her to effectively restore Spike's demon self to his former glory.  
  
She lied.  
  
She never believed for a moment that resorting to evil was what Spike truly wanted and it was not in her nature to alter a person if they were not, deep down, in true want of the change.  
  
Part of her gift was that she could see people; who they appeared to be on the outside, who the really were on the inside, and most of all, who they desired to be. That was how she knew exactly what her clients wanted, how she knew which little parts of them they truly did want to change and which parts of themselves they would yearn for if removed or changed.  
  
And so, within hours of meeting this bleach blonde whirlwind of a vampire, she knew he was lying - both to her, and more importantly, to himself. She just wasn't sure what exactly it was that he really did want. Something different, she knew that much, something he had had before but had lost long, long ago.  
  
Then one night when the air was still and night jasmine bloomed in the pot she kept on her windowsill, she knew. It had been weeks since Spike had come to her and asked for her help and she felt she was beginning to come to grips with his complexities, but still not getting a hold of what he needed from her. She was normally so good at this, and after so long spent fruitlessly mulling over the mystery of what Spike needed from her she was beginning to doubt herself, but she suddenly hit pay dirt at long last.  
  
He had been talking for hours about absolutely nothing; the colour of the full moon, the smell of wet grass in the springtime, and his favorite seventies punk rockers, when he began to talk about the way he'd decorated his crypt back home. Something flashed through his mind right then, a memory so vivid that Kashlar felt as though she were seeing it with her own eyes.  
  
He never told her what he was thinking, just paused for a moment with a look of infinite sadness on his face, and then continued on with his ramblings about nothing.  
  
But that one second was enough for her to pick it up. Clear as day she could see it. A girl. A petite blond with power to bring the world to its knees and a pull on Spike's heart that she didn't know she possessed. She lay under a pile of rugs, Spike at her side smiling and laughing one minute, and the next swearing she would never trust him.  
  
This was what he wanted, why he'd come to her last month asking to be restored. He wanted her, but thought he could never be good enough for this woman, this ray of light in his world of darkness. He figured if he couldn't be with her and be worthy of her world, then he might as well go back to his old ways.  
  
But Kashlar knew better. That wasn't what he really wanted, that was just a stopgap solution because what he really wanted, what he needed to be worthy of his girl, wasn't achievable.  
  
Except that it was. And now Kashlar could help him with it. She always was a sucker for a good love story.  
  
She started right then and there with the preparations, the blessings and conjuring, the casting of circles and consecrating of powerful instruments. By the time Spike awoke in the morning it was all done and she was ready to go.  
  
Ten hours later it was finished. Kashlar was worn out and Spike was resting on her favorite chair. His body had been put through hell; hour after hour of tugging, pulling apart and reforming bonds, so it was to be expected that he'd need time to recuperate.  
  
She hadn't quite anticipated how quickly his body would bounce back, though. She thought he would have a good few days of blissful unconsciousness while his soul seeped back into all of the nooks and crevices of his being, silently bringing him to terms with the change without him even noticing. That is just the way it worked, the way it had always worked.  
  
Kashlar hadn't counted on the effect of his vampire constitution and was worried when he started to stir and show signs of awakening after only a few hours of rest. She feared he might not have had enough time, not had long enough to get a grip on this new reality, and that he might be uneasy, irrational, and simply bolt.  
  
She got one out of three almost correct.  
  
He finally fully gained consciousness and within seconds understood. He stood slowly, a little unsteady on his feet, and walked over to Kashlar. He looked at her for what seemed like an eternity before smiling, whispering something in her ear, and heading toward his motorbike.  
  
Long after he had driven off into the night and hours after the sand outside of her home had settled, as though it had never been disturbed in the first place, Kashlar could still hear him. She could still hear the most sincere words ever spoken to her by a client, words she knew she would still hear in the morning, echoing around her like sunlight on a gentle summer breeze.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
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Thanks for reading! Sorry this chapter took so long but the dreaded writers block consumed me for a while there. More coming soon. Please review, I live for feedback! 


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